All Talk

Yesterday evening my friend (and Production Designer) Allyson and I went to a room at the Hotel Intercontinental to meet with a "Horror Film Producer". This guy has been trying to convince Allyson to work with him on a few of his "Forty-one Projects" that he has "slated to go to camera next month". A bunch of overweight men in their forties filled out the crowded discount room in the downtown five-star. Alcohol was abundant, but one of them had to go get mix when we arrived to avoid paying for the mini-fridge cokes. The "Producer" quickly showed us a model that another member of the group had made of a deformed baby monster that was to be the star of his new series, but apart from that all he offered us was talk... and talk he offered in abundance. For the next two hours we sat sipping rye and gingers while our morbidly obese host expound on his forty-one projects, his business model, his industry expertise, his diabetes, his dabbles with the priesthood, his lack of understanding of technology, the two HD camera packages he's planning to buy, his one testicle, the meaning of life, but most important of all, "his vision." He went on and on about the hundreds of thousands of dollars and in some cases millions that his shows will cost, but the only concrete money he could point to having raised was the $5,000 that his father had invested. Occasionally I got so bored that I asked him questions, such as "what are the budgets of each episode?" and "are you planning to direct all of them yourself?" But what I really should have asked is, "did you rent a hotel room during the Horror Convention to meet 16 year old horror fans in funny costumes or to pretend that you have a carreer in the film industry?"

The entire experience was maddening. Just another con man trying to make something from a whole lot of nothing, whose only real work is that of stringing along young and vulnerable film industry wannabes. And here is the thing—this is not an isolated incident. More often than not, the people I meet in the lower rungs of the film industry talk an incredibly ambitious game, but have absolutely nothing to show for it. And the most frightening part is that occasionally some yabbo actually gives them a chunk of change for them to spend on hotel rooms during Horror Conventions. And how does one sift through the mire of lies and find those who are actually on the level? Sadly, I don't have an answer to that question. Do you?